So I just need to get something off my chest……..
Here lately I have been painfully aware of the fact that I am single. It’s going on 4 years that I have been single (technically more if you count the fact that my last “relationship” was only one of convenience HAHA). But within the last few months I have just felt hopeless in this situation. Not saying that I would go back to my last relationship and try to make it work because I wouldn’t (I was miserable) but I do miss having someone to share my life with. I am so glad that I have friends that are there for me and know exactly what to say --- I thank God that He has put them in my life. I even talked to my cousin and he informed me of what kind of person that I was when I was in my last relationship and if I went into another relationship like that I would end up going down a road I hated-----HE WAS SO RIGHT!!!!! I look back and realize God definitely knew what He was doing getting me out of that relationship because I was quickly turning into a person I despised while I was in it. To sum the relationship up in 1 word—COMPROMISE! I know that each time I try to take things into my hands I just make a big mess of things but then it is SO hard for me to see this time in my life as roses and gumdrops-----it sucks a lot at times. I try to tell myself that this is worth it and that God has someone so much better than anyone I have ever been in a relationship with but at times I get in this place where I wonder if the man is ever going to show up?!?!?
Anyway, I am thankful for my friends during this time especially because they really give me tough love and tell me how stupid I am being HAHA. I am glad that most of them get what I am going through and how sometimes you just want to scream when you get the “friend card” thrown in your face ALL THE TIME!!!!!! But whatever!
I was at Link last night and a friend of mine’s husband was giving his testimony and something he said really stuck out to me (well a lot did) but he was talking about how he felt after a relationship had ended and how He experienced God come and meet him and tell him that He was preparing his bride. Then he talked about how God wanted him to chase Him and let Him do the rest----At this point my friend Natalie almost knocked me off my chair haha----But then he talked about when him and his wife met and how everything was worth the wait. I was like Ok God I get it!!!! But then I told my mom I wanted to move because I was tired of Alabama boys screwing me over HAHAHA
So then I was talking to one of my really good guy friends last night and we weren’t even talking about relationships but then HE ASKED ME about some stuff and we just started talking about it. We were talking about how we know that we are not meant to be single and how we just wish that this “season” would hurry up and go away when a verse that another friend of mine gave me kept replaying in my head over and over. Hosea 2:14 "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her.” I know that God has me in this place for a reason and I am just going to let Him show me why ----- even though I really want out of this season quickly! HAHA
8 hours ago