Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. Give her everything she deserves! Proverbs 31:30

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Wednesday, January 20, 2010


I know all I have been writing about lately is P90X (only to keep me accountable) but I want to share something that has really been on my heart lately.

For really the past few years I have had really unhealthy relationships with my family, mainly because I didn't know how to let things go. I read the book Total Forgiveness and after reading that book I started trying to let go of all the past hurts that I had so desperately held on to.

I held on to them because they helped me justify why I didn't like being around certain people in my family, I held on to them because I was selfish and wanted people to think I was the victim. But now God has made me realize that I MADE myself the victim and I was causing myself to be angry, bitter, etc.

This past Monday I had lunch with one of my precious cousins and her daughter and at first we were talking about random things (which is so us) and then the conversation turned to her sister. She really shined some light on why things happened the way they did and how her and her sister felt about all of the crap that happened while we were in school. I never thought in a million years that what she said was actually the reason that the stuff happened between our families. NEVER would I have thought that my problems were pouring down on them. When she told me this I broke I literally heard God say at that moment "it's done" I knew that at that moment it was time to let all of the crap go--for good! I didn't want the fact that I had been hurt to hurt them.

We went on to talk about how I did hate her sister at one time but now I am genuinely concerned for her well being. I am concerned that the decisions she is making now will haunt her forever and lead her down a road that she does not want to be on. I love her so much and I don't want to lose her like I have already "lost" other family members.

For all of you that know me, you know about my cousin that has had problems (not the person mentioned above) and how it breaks my heart that he won't change for good. It seems like he will take 10 steps in the right direction and then 15 steps back. I haven't really talked to him a lot lately and I have a feeling that this is God's way of helping me detach myself from the situation. I do know that I really want him to surrender to God and let Him fight his battles. In the midst of all this though God has allowed me to build other relationships with the rest of that side of my family.

Family can hurt you deeper than anyone else but they can also love you like no one else. I know that I have the family that I do for a reason and even though I get on their nerves and they get on mine. I will always love them and I will always have their back.

Here are some priceless quotes about family.....

Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts. ~Author Unknown

The thing about family disasters is that you never have to wait long before the next one puts the previous one into perspective. ~Robert Brault

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. ~Desmond Tutu