Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. Give her everything she deserves! Proverbs 31:30

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Friday, July 30, 2010

He's Making it Beautiful!

So over at Kelly's Korner there are a lot of people sharing their testimonies and I thought I would join in and share how God has been working in my life.

I grew up in a semi-Christian home.  My mom made sure that we went to church and she led a Christian life but my dad didn't want to.  I grew up in church and I "loved" God.  I learned at a young age how to go through the motions.  I was religious with NO relationship. I knew the right things to say and the way to wear my mask but I was dying on the inside.  I looked the part of a Christian but I was far from actually being one.

In middle school and most of high school I was Miss "True Love Waits" but toward the end of high school I started walking dangerously close to the line.  My senior year of high school I was raped by someone that I considered a friend of mine and this caused a spiral effect in my life.  This one thing caused me to doubt God, hate everyone (because of things that were said), and start down a very dangerous road.  I started giving in to guys a lot more easily now because I felt like there was no sense in not doing it because someone had taken my virginity away.

I was back with an ex when we got so addicted to each other it was sick.  We had no true relationship and it was obvious.  He told me how worthless I was constantly and this made me think that I really was.  He moved and things stopped for the most part - at least with him.  I quickly became someone that I hated.

I started going to another church that really changed the way I viewed church.  I thank God for the people He placed in my life at a moment when I desperately needed someone that I could trust again.  I was still playing games though.  One night (a year ago) sitting at our college service I felt God like never before.  So after all the running and fighting and surrendered my life to Jesus.

I am not saying that after that night things got really easy because they didn't.  I still had to let go of some unforgiveness that quite frankly I didn't want to but I thank God for dealing with me because the journey of letting go has been worth it.  I have been able to experience god like never before and I have learned that God will bring you through any storm and He will hold you in the middle of it.  I am glad that God gives grace and forgiveness and He doesn't tie strings to it like I used to do.

I still have a lot to learn and a lot to quit struggling with (being single) but I know that God loves us in spite of our mess and He will turn that mess into something BEAUTIFUL.

1 comment:

Tara said...

What a powerful testimony! So glad I stopped by...